By now we’re all familiar with CNN anchor Chris Cuomo’s epic meltdown over being referred to as “Fredo”. According to him and him only, it is the worst thing one could possibly ever say to an Italian-American. Forget any actual persecution historically faced by Italians in the United States. Sacco and Vanzetti? The Emergency Quota Act of 1921? The Immigration Act of 1924? The targeting of Italian immigrants by none other than the KU Klux Klan? The portrayal of Arthur Fonzarelli? That all pales in comparison to being likened to the middle brother of the Corleone family!
But what if I told you that Fredo wasn’t so bad? Would you believe me? Probably not, but I’m going to try anyway because I will never not defend Frederico Corleone. He may have been sickly as a child and it’s true that he did in fact know who Johnny Ola was but Fredo is worth defending.
First of all, Fredo was a bisexual in the mob in the fucking 1950s! Do you have any idea what that must have been like? You thought Vito Spatafore had it tough? Get the fuck outta here!
He knew how to take a beating. Moe Greene had to slap him around in public every now and again but he always took it in stride.
The guy had the stamina of a horse. Banging cocktail waitresses two at a time? That was old hat for Fredo! I couldn’t do it, nor do I particularly want to, but it’s a thing he did and by god did he do it well.
How many people do you know that would ever have the balls to stand up to their family and take sides against them? I’ll tell you how many people you know: One. His name is Fredo, god damnit. And no one comes to Las Vegas and talks to Moe Greene like that!
He was sensitive. It’s 2019. A degree of sensitivity is in order for all of us and Fredo has it in spades. This is a bad thing? You are so cancelled for thinking otherwise.
Did you know he survived the Cuban Revolution? That’s a thing that happened. Fidel Castro and his 26th of July Movement overthrew the brutal dictator, Fulgencio Batista, and Fredo lived to tell the tale.
Fredo had a great relationship with his mom. So great that his brother, Michael, refused to execute him while their mother was alive.
He was also an amazing uncle to his nephew, Anthony. Poor kid had to witness his favorite/only living uncle take a bullet. Scarred him for life, I suppose.
Unlike everyone said, he was smart and could handle things.
Look, Chris Cuomo’s gonna get a pass on this one but he really shouldn’t. There are actual hurtful things that one can say to an Italian-American. “Fredo” isn’t one of them. Cuomo wasn’t standing up against “Italophobia”, he was just being a hot head with a very obvious chip on his shoulder. Kind of like Fredo.
Semi-Parmed Life 